Ranty Times in Sassyland

I have co-workers that seem to be getting away with a whole helluva lot of stuff lately and the culmination of their gettingawaywithit’s (shut-up spellcheck…) is just really starting to make me super bitter and pissy. It probably doesn’t help that my BFF is somewhat of a manager figure in their lives and uses me as a sounding board – but to be honest, I may have to ask her to stop, but my fear of her not telling ME these things, is that she will tell someone else that will not be as discreet as I am/have been – so I’d rather be the one that she comes to, but it’s wearing me out because at this point, I feel like I couldn’t do ANYTHING to get my ass fired that would be as bad as the bullshit I’m hearing about…not only that, but I’d never even test that theory because I’m awesome like that and I get paid a decent wage to do my job and don’t feel the need to test any of the powers-that-be.

There are other things too – like my relationship feels strained on my end with my BFF because of the way I see how she is or isn’t managing these people. I’m feeling really judgey – not in a catty way or in a way that I don’t want to see her succeed – it’s more of a disappointment, I guess, that she is allowing to be taken advantage of and allowing certain staff members to get away with certain behaviors that, in the real world, would get their asses pink-slipped.

I attempt to give her solid professional advice which I feel falls on deaf ears, which makes me just want to shut my fucking mouth and not say a word, but I want her to succeed and my feeling is that if she continues to be taken advantage of, at some point, someone who matters will catch wind of it and then it will reflect poorly on HER that she didn’t take a stand when these behaviors started showing their ugly heads.

I’m in a pickle here. I’m a very honest person. If I feel that I need to have a hard conversation with her about how she is being perceived, I have no issue with having that conversation. I can be very diplomatic and lady-like, if forced when I need to be. And how she is being perceived is not really up for debate – if these people saw her as an authority figure, they would not be testing the waters like this. Testing the waters is something one does when they want to see how far they can push a person. If these people had any respect for her position as their immediate supervisor, they would be courteous and do things like call her when they take a sick day, or not take a sick day every Monday or Friday, or do something as simple as listen to their voicemails so that when they call in sick and she has to cover their office while they are out, she doesn’t have 40-50 voicemails that need to be listened to and/or responded to.

Here’s a GREAT example:

Yesterday, one of the units in an apartment complex that my BFF supervises, caught on fire. A very sad and heartbreaking thing to happen – a woman lost her life and a little 5 year old boy was in critical condition with burns all over his body. No one else was hurt. Apparently, the manager of that complex, one of these co-workers I’m bitching about, had stayed home sick yesterday. So, my BFF got a call that there was a fire from one of the maintenance staff, so she dropped what she was doing and took off for the complex to do whatever she could at the property, since the manager was gone, apparently – because she hadn’t gotten that call in the morning to let her know that she was home sick. (See? I mean…) After things had settled down a bit she took a moment to text the manager to let her know what happened.

No response.

Like, if something like that had happened to the property I manage, my ass would have 1.) Called to let my boss know I was sick and couldn’t make it in – IN THE DAMN FIRST PLACE. 2.) Had I gotten notified that an emergency of this magnitude had occurred, I would have jumped out of bed, gotten dressed and went down there!!!!!!!!! I just would. And I bet if you thought about that for even 2 seconds, that would be your reaction as well.

So, more time passed throughout the day and my BFF texted again to let her know that someone had passed from the fire and a boy was burned badly and after awhile she got this message back:

Is the fire out?

FOUR WORDS. She never showed up to see if she could help…

In defense of this person, she is a very caring individual. I think some things are happening in her personal life that are causing her to not make some very good decisions. BUT IF NO ONE CALLS HER ON IT, SHE WILL CONTINUE DOING THIS BULLSHIT.

Bye-guys

Anyway, I’m feeling burdened by all of this. It’s hard for me to take her seriously at all. Like…at. all.  SEE?!?!?!?! I’m getting PISSY NOW! Gah! There’s more, but I need to keep that to myself and just end this rant here because it’s already too long and I’m sure I’ve bored you with this subject enough.

Thanks for listening, y’all.

 

 

 

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Misophonia – It’s a “thing”, y’all. Look it up.

It happens against my will. It’s almost as if I get possessed. One minute I’m fine…the next I’m shooting daggers out of my eyes.

Usually, the first thing that I notice is people chewing their food noisily. At first, I’m able to control my twitchy eye. Breathing exercises work great. After that fails, though…all bets are off.

I drop little hints to those around me starting with that stare with the squinky eye. (Dear spellcheck…squinky IS a word…because I just made it up.) The offender usually senses this look…stops chewing for a moment, then says something like, “What?” to which I respond, “Oh…nothing…” hoping they get the hint. When that fails I go a little bit more passive-aggressive-aggressive.

Do those Funyuns taste good?!

I’m usually met with, “They sure do, want some?” I respectfully decline.

It will typically escalate from there. Here are ways that I will attempt to drown out or get them to stop:

  1. Turn on my music at my desk or turn on the TV.
  2. When that doesn’t work, I’ll turn up the volume so that I drown out that god-forsaken sound from my head.
  3. I remind myself that I love the person making this goddamned noise and sometimes that works…most of the time it does not.
  4. Slamming of dishes ensues.
  5. I will literally throw a fork onto my plate causing a scene making everyone nervous and occasionally they will leave the room.
  6. Heavy sighs work the best, I’ve found. And if you accompany the squinky eye and the stare-down, the offender knows you mean business.
  7. The final straw comes when I have had enough. Usually directed at my poor sweet husband or my BFF who both love me unconditionally and are the worst offenders. These two people love me DISPITE my shortcomings and weird quirks. I typically lose it completely.

The conversation will begin with the look. And my reactions exponentially get ballsy-er from there:

  • Blank stare while simultaneously freezing in place causing a silence in my general direction that is immediately noticed and the sense of being watched rather intensely is completely palpable.
  • They look in my direction, usually freezing in mid-chew. Let’s not forget, these people know me. They know exactly what this look means.
  • They say, “What?” – I say, “I’m literally going to stab you and to go prison if you don’t figure out how to chew more softly.” They say, “I’m just eating.” – I say, “Fine! YOU EAT AND I’LL GO LOOK FOR A KNIFE!”
  • They say, “You need to calm down.” – I say, “What would you like on your headstone? ‘Here lies Mr. Sassy, his wife murdered him because he wouldn’t chew softly and she fucking had had enough, already.'”*

In the end, I make my point. And a few days later, I feel really bad that I went so nutso about it – but SERIOUSLY.

* Don’t you fucking love it when you get to use “had had” in a sentence?! I do. Especially if it ends up on a head stone.

 

Sassyland Adventures

Hey, y’all!

I’m writing to you from my God-forsaken desk, in my God-forsaken office. At work. I can’t get any actual work done because there are contractors over <— (there) installing new French doors and repairing some of the siding to our office that has been damaged due to the fact that this is WASHINGTON and there has been a water leak for who knows how long and they are using some God-forsaken power tools including, but not limited to:

  • Saws-All
  • Hammer
  • Nail gun (hooked up to the God-forsaken air compressor)
  • Pry bars
  • Electric Drill

Now, I’m not one to complain….BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! J/K, that’s pretty much all this damn blog is about! BUT I DIGRESS. So, I’m complaining….get over it.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS RACKET!!!!!!!!!! A nail gun powered by an AIR COMPRESSOR IS LOUD AS FUCK, YOU GUYS! And, I mean, great for the guys working –  because they get ear protection, but they are about 7 feet away from my desk and THWAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!! – hey, don’t worry about me, I. Am. Good. Yessirree. No big deal. Reading lips probably isn’t that hard to learn, right?

Oh, good…one of the guys just got a head beam to the forehead. I’ll be right back…

He’ll be fine. I have icepacks in the fridge. Thanks for your concern. What? I can’t hear what you’re saying…because HAMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The workers are Russian, barely speak a LICK of English and the only Russian word I know is “Спасибо”! Which looks an awful lot like “ACHOO”, but it’s pronounced “Sbah-see-bah”, which means “Thank You”, apparently…at least that is what the owner of this contracting business told me it means. I should probably look that shit up on the Google Translate or something because I could be telling everyone something really obscene. I’ll be honest, I just looked up all of this on the internet and Спасибо looks nothing like “sbah-see-bah” so who the fuck knows what in the hell I’m saying.

How’ YOUR day?

 

Let me talk REEEEEEEAAAAALLL SLOW, so you can understand…

11wD2RW

One of my residents short-paid his rent – which means…let’s say it was $939 ($899 rent + $40 water/sewer/garbage) and he only gave me a check for $855. So I called him today to explain that he has a balance owing and he argued that he dropped his rent “on time”…to which I replied, “Yes, your check for $855 was considered ‘on time’ only…it didn’t cover your balance IN FULL, now you owe me $84 + $16 in late fees totaling $100. When are you going to bring that over to us?”

AW MAN! I don’t know how I did that! I don’t understand, I need to make sure I have $100 left in my account!”

*what I was saying in my head…* Yeah…well…get on that shit, because you need to get your money in here, PRONTO.

He comes in and gives me $100. THEEEEEEEEENNNNNN….he calls me 20 minutes later.

Yeah…I have a question. I should have $15 somewhere over there as a credit.

Me: *hey, that’s not a question…it was more of a statement – an incorrect one at that…* How do you figure that?

My water sewer garbage is $40 and my rent is $899. I gave you a check for $855 and another one for $100.

Me: Yes, and you had a late fee of $16.

That should have gone to my water, sewer, garbage – right?

Me: No – the total owing you should have given me ON TIME would have been $939. You only gave me $855.

Right…so…where’s my $15.

Me: *brain exploding all over my office* Listen – it might be easier for you to stop by the office so I can show you the accounting of this in black and white, or you can write this down as I speak to you. Your RENT was $899. Your water, sewer, garbage was $40. That totals $939. You dropped a check for $855. That left you a balance of $84. Because you didn’t pay your rent IN FULL and ON TIME, you owe late fees of 20% on the balance due – that’s $16 in late fees. $84 + $16 = $100. There is no overpayment, there’s no credit due, you paid in full and your balance is now $0.00. You’re starting FRESH. Zero balance.

Yeah…ok…whatever.

You guys…just pay your motherfucking rent on time…it makes life so much easier.

 

Sassyland – People Pleasing and Saying No

Hi Guys…I’ve got something to get off my chest…

I come from a long line of over-achievers. Entrepreneurs and self-starters. I have a business mind. I like that about myself. I think full-circle, I know what it takes to make something succeed. I love my job for those very reasons. I’m an apartment manager. It’s basically running your own business on behalf of someone who is taking all the risk and reaping all of the reward, which I’m fantastically happy to do. I love everything about property management. Even when these asstards don’t come in and pay their rent or give me a hard time.

For the last few months, I offered my expertise to one of my Management Company’s “Property Managers” (a “property manager” manages the Managers…so basically someone who is in the same position as my boss.) to help get his Apartment Managers on track with the way our company needs things at the property level to run. My outlook on this task is simple, bring these managers up to speed on how to run the Management System that we use, help them get organized and to help them shine and succeed, so that we can save the account which will help to save 7 properties in our company’s portfolio.

Recently, I was asked if I’d like to “lease” a few single family homes in a development that we manage for an owner. There were 4 vacancies within this community. I would only be responsible for leasing these homes – which means I’d need to market them and show them and sign the lease with the new resident. Herein lies my issue.

I’m a control freak. There…I said it.

The troubles I have with this task are both professional and personal.

Professional:

  • I don’t have control of when maintenance needs to be done on these homes when the time comes for someone to move out. Vendors need to be contacted, work scheduled and there needs to be a sense of urgency to get things done so that we can get someone else in there. I have the power
  • At the time I was offered this position, it would be on top of what I’m doing already with the other properties that I’m “helping” get up to speed. I’m already taking 2-3 hours per day Tuesday – Friday to do this.
  • The properties are about 40 minutes from my house, 25 minutes from my home property, that I’m still responsible for.
  • When I said “Yes” it was with trepidation, thinking about all of the things I’d have to juggle so that I could be sure that I was still helping at my property as well as helping the other managers with their properties.

Personal:

  • My nephew did a “terrible/awful” and we may or may not have some very serious things to attend in the coming months and we are sort of on-call for if/when these things occur. (yes, I’m being purposely vague…it’s too much to type and waaaaaay too much to put out there on the interwebs.)
  • My brother-in-law is a hot mess and is in horrible health and is in constant need of help, it seems.
  • My mother and father in-law are very old and sickly and both have health issues. We seem to be the only children in the family that can rush to them at a moments notice to help them or buy them groceries and a myriad of other things.

As you can see, my plate if fairly full as it is, without adding this task to the list – and I haven’t even added anything about my personal family unit.

For my sanity, after a week of answering inquiries, trying to coordinate with the person that is in charge of getting the vendors set to complete these homes so that they can be re-rented, I sent an email saying I felt that it was a good idea if I didn’t accept this job at this time.

If you knew me personally, you’d know that I have probably lost several hours of sleep the last several days obsessing about how I could possibly manage to make this work…and the thing is…I feel that it would take less energy to be in control of the whole thing – from beginning to end – than to just be the person that shows the homes and signs leases with new residents. The worrying about the unknown drives me up the wall. I guess I’d prefer and it’d be less stress for me if I had complete control than only partial and be the person hanging on a thread waiting for someone to finally tell me things are ready and have to constantly ask if things were done.

Bleh.

th

I hate saying no. I’m learning to say no more frequently and that probably comes from “being of a certain age”. Being of a certain age also helps you realize what kind of people you want in your life and what tasks you are comfortable taking on and which battles you choose to take on and which ones you need not bother with.

Having been a people pleaser for much of my 43 years has brought with it a lot of frustrations. You learn a lot about the things you let bother you and how to surround yourself with people that enrich your life rather than drain you of your will to live. You learn a lot about your own limitations and what it takes for you to be happy and to create balance. You learn a lot about what you absolutely will not compromise on. You measure the risk vs. reward and learn what true pros and cons are. Genuine-ness takes the front seat and Superficial-ness gets dropped at the curb.

 

 

 

Apartment Manager Tales #70: *facepalm*

Can we all just agree that paying your rent on time is YOUR responsibility and that it’s NOT the responsibility of your APARTMENT MANAGER? After all, we DO give a 5 day grace period before late fees are imposed.

Man up – or woman up – AND PAY YOUR FUCKING RENT ON TIME.

Guess what happens if I don’t pay my house payment on time, y’all?

THEY TAKE MY FUCKING HOUSE AWAY, THAT’S WHAT.

 

 

11wD2RW

add *muthafuckah* to that…

Apartment Manager Tales # 42: A rooster in a van.

This goes into my “You’ve *GOT* to be fucking kidding me” file.

Chevrolet-Express-VanPLUS

roosterEQUALS

A ROOSTER…IN A VAN, Y’ALL!

10:17 AM November 17th, 2014

Caller: Hi – I wanted to let you know that the new people that moved in above me have a rooster in their van and it’s been crowing really early in the mornings and it’s been waking me up for quite some time. It’s been getting really cold out lately and I  think you should call animal control or something because this is really quite ridiculous.

Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa…hang on a second. I’m sorry if I’m cutting you off or laughing at what you’re telling me right now, but did you just say the people who moved in above you are keeping a *rooster* in their *van*?

Caller: Yes, that’s what I’m saying.

Me: I mean, I’m sorry if I’m laughing, but this might be the best call yet. And you are giving me some really good Facebook material right now if I heard you correctly. [yes – I really said all of this as I was laughing…] I’m going to just repeat what you said, you said there is a rooster in a van and it’s been in there for awhile and it “crows” in the morning – waking you up, right? Like, this is really happening?

Caller: Yes, that’s what I said. I walked up to it because I was washing my windows and I saw a cage in there…and a rooster.

Me: Wow. Okay. We will….address this and deal with it. Thanks for calling.

Now…I’d like it to be known that our “Pet Policy” already reads like a Ripley’s Believe It Or Not marketing piece…or maybe a Candid Camera episode…but I never thought I’d have to add “rooster” to the list. (We actually had to add “Flying Squirrels” to this list…as my maintenance guy says…it only takes one idiot to ruin it for the whole group.)

#apartmentmanagerproblems