It’s been 4 years of sporadic posting, hilarity and profanity here in Sassyland. I need to thank those of you that actually read this drivel, for without you, I surely would have given up long ago.
And while we are on the subject of giving up…my newest frustration comes in the form of a ROOSTER.
Yep! You read that right. I have a tenant that will NOT get rid of the Rooster they have had staying in their van for the last several months. Apparently, they have had him since he was just a little wee chicky. And it’s their pet. I KNOW, YOU GUYS!
Well, about 8 months ago, I reported in this VERY BLOG, about this rooster that was living in their van. They were asked back then to get rid of it because we don’t allow FARM ANIMALS on the property. It’s not just an apartment rule…it’s also a city ordinance. So, you know…GET RID OF IT. Only, they moved it from their van to their apartment. Yep.
I got a call from one of my other tenants the other day telling me that there is a rooster in the apartment above hers and crows in the wee morning hours and makes all sorts of racket up in the apartment.
And the other day, it got loose in the parking lot and they were chasing it all over the place for like, 1/2 an hour!
And so, after I stopped laughing – because when someone tells you that there is a chicken on the loose in the parking lot and there are grown people chasing it and you DON’T LAUGH? You’ve got to be dead inside. After I stopped laughing – I told her I’d take care of it.
FAST FORWARD TO TODAY – they speak Spanish so, I had my maintenance guy come in to translate for me so there would be NO FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDING regarding this MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER:
They came in to pay their rent…late…but – whatevs. I took the opportunity to confront them about the damned rooster. Again. It went a little like this:
Me: Let’s talk about the rooster again.
Them: *blank stare*
Me: I told you once before to get rid of the rooster. My co-worker told you to get rid of the rooster two weeks ago.
Them: *averting their eyes*
Me: I will not ask you again to get rid of the rooster. If I hear about that rooster one more time, I’ll evict you. We cannot have roosters living here – in your van OR your apartment. The city doesn’t allow it and neither do I.
Them: Okay, okay, okay. I’m going to make a house for it. I have a friend that is a cop and he said I can make a house for it.
Me: YOU CANNOT HAVE A HOUSE BUILT FOR A ROOSTER HERE!!!!!!! Why don’t you understand?!?
Them: No, I have a friend that will let me keep it at their house, I’ll make a house for them there. My English no so good.
Me: My Spanish no so good, either, so no rooster here. And it needs to happen RIGHT AWAY! No more ROOSTER.
Them: GOD MADE THE ANIMALS!!!!
Me: Yes, that’s the rumor.
Them: He’s very very pretty.
Me: I’m sure he is. He can be pretty somewhere else, NOT HERE.
Then my co-worker pulled out a can of whoop-ass:
Co-Worker: I told you last week to get rid of the Rooster. Either get rid of him or move out and turn in your keys. This is ridiculous. There’s no more discussion.
Them: What you say?!?! GOD made the animals. God made the animals before He made the humans!
Me: Okay. Just make sure the rooster is gone. I don’t want to have to talk to you about this again.
Them: Ok, ok…GOD BLESS YOU.
Roosters. God damned ROOSTERS. #apartmentmanagerproblems