Apartment Manager Tales #44: Dude, you can’t even pay your rent on time…

Hey, Sassyland! Happy New Year to ya!

I dunno about you…but I’m looking forward to this year being OVER. Fuck you, 2014.

Some good has happened this year…but let me tell you…most of it has been a shit show and I’m OVER IT! So – YAY 2015! BRING. IT. ON.


How do I break my lease?

Well, there is a $250 lease break fee and you are responsible for paying the rent until the end of the lease or until it gets re-rented. Are you thinking about moving out?

Yeah. You mean I have to pay rent even if I don’t live there?

Well, yes. You signed a lease. If you are thinking about moving out, then feel free to move and turn in your keys. We don’t typically have any problem renting out apartments here, but I can’t guarantee that it’ll get rented immediately. When is your lease over?


Okay – I guess my only suggestion to you would be to move out and turn in your keys or you can stay for the term of your lease. We always work hard to re-rent apartments when they become vacant and right now, we don’t have any vacancies. I can’t really advise you – it’s your decision. Is there anything else I can help you with?

I need to get my locks changed.

Why do you need them changed?

I, I…my apartment doesn’t feel secure. I just want them changed.

Is there something wrong with your locks? Are they not working for you? Are they broken in any way?

No, they are fine, I just want them changed.

Okay – that’ll be $50. We can have our maintenance guy come and get that taken care of as soon as you pay the fee with a money order.

Just add it to my rent.

No, we can’t do that. We need paid up front. As soon as you can pay it, we’ll be happy to change your locks for you.

What do you mean you won’t do it unless I pay you up front?!

Well, this is an expense our owner needs to pay for, so we need you to pay for the locks so that we can buy them and get them installed.

You get your rent every month. Why can’t you just add it to my rent?

Okay look – I’m not sure how else to tell you this, but I’m not going to change your locks without receiving the $50. You think about it and get back to us if you truly need or want them changed, you shouldn’t have any problem paying for the service.

Why do you always pick a fight with me when I call?! This is ridiculous! Why do you always act like a damn bitch when I call? Give me your managers number.

If you want my managers number, you can Google it. He knows the rules of the lease…he knows there is a lock change fee. This conversation is over.

*motherfuckin CLICK*

(This genius called back probably nine or ten times and we simply did not answer the phone.)

Listen, Sassyland…this asstard has been an fuckface EVERY TIME HE HAS SPOKEN TO ME since I took this property over. He has been disrespectful over and over again for absolutely no reason other than the answer I gave to his questions weren’t the answers he wanted to hear and he can’t seem to even pay his rent on time without being threatened that he will be sent in for an eviction and then complains that we charge him a late fee EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH. I personally have explained how his lease works and I know for a fact that the previous manager did as well. I’ve had to ask him to leave the office more than once because he gets belligerent. I’m over it. I wrote a lovely letter introducing myself to the residents that live here and explained to them what they can expect out of me and in turn, what I expect out of them(pay the rent on time, report maintenance issues and follow the rules of their lease). It was written in a clear and concise manner and handed out to each and every resident that lives here. Apparently, he feels the rules don’t apply to him. Well…they do and I’ll enforce them until his lease is up. And at that point and time, he can be someone else’s problem.


5 thoughts on “Apartment Manager Tales #44: Dude, you can’t even pay your rent on time…

  1. He’s one ignorant asshole! There is always a few who think the rules don’t apply to them. Wish I was closer —I’d love to be your ass kicking back up! Love ya! Don’t you dare take any shit from anyone 🙂

  2. markbialczak says:

    He won’t get it because HE’S NEVER THE PROBLEM. You know somehow his whole damn life THE WORLD HAS BEEN AGAINST HIM. He’s pissed at his priest, and God is next on his list to cuss out.

    You rock, Sassy. Happy New Year.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s