So you clicked that little ” follow” button. Are you sure? Like…really sure you want to do that? Because SHIT GETS REAL UP IN HERE, YO!
Here’s what you can expect out of me – and I’ll provide you with bullet points to make it easy and quick to read, m’kay?
- Profanity – my faves are: shit, fuck, motherfucker, fucktard, asshead and/or some hybrids thereof that I have GENIOUSLY (if I do say so myself) made up as I’ve gone through life or borrowed from some of my most favorite vulgar people.
- I will bring the funny on a practically monthly or semi-annual basis. There was a time when I would flood WordPress with posts…but those days are behind me.
- Truth. I don’t lie and I try not to sugar coat shit…life is hard enough trying to read the mixed signals that fake people throw out into the universe. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.
- Apartment Manager Tales will continue. I’m an apartment manager. Lots of crazy shit happens around here and I’ve managed to be transferred throughout our company so that I can improve each property that I’ve landed – my most current property is the largest account that our company has in its portfolio and I’ve been here a week. I’ll give it a month before the crazy shit starts hitting the fan and I have to lay the hammer down. The cool part about this new place? I don’t have any cleaning up to do. It’s a well oiled machine and I’m thrilled to be here.
- I’m sarcastic as FUCK. If you don’t like sarcasm and perfectly placed profanity, then you may want to find another blog to follow.
In a nutshell, if I haven’t upset you by any of these – then WELCOME ABOARD TO THE SASSYLAND EXPRESS! Get ready for a bumpy, funny, profanity-filled ride.
I had a guy blindly follow me once and when he read my post commented, “If I had known you had such a filthy mouth, I wouldn’t have followed you in the first place.” This is why I feel the need to give you a little back ground because – I don’t just want pity-follows here, people. IN FACT – I suspect my follower count will go down because of this post – which I’m perfectly ok with, if you must know.
But Sassy…are you really like this in real life? Meh – my head is like this 100%, but I’ve recently decided that I’ve been blessed with a “self-edit feature” which is REALLY SUPER HANDY WHEN YOU ARE AN APARTMENT MANAGER. These fucking people drive me crazy. I haven’t heard an original excuse as to why someone can’t pay their rent in a long time. I physically have to close my eyes sometimes so that people don’t see my eyes rolling into the back of my head. So – instead of outwardly speaking these profanities – which most certainly would have landed me in the unemployment line – I created a blog. Now I can “say” what I really want to say – when I really want to say it and keep my professionalism in check. It’s a win-win, really. You win (or at least I’d like to think that you do) and I win because I don’t get fired.
The real-life me is quite nice and kind and generous with my friends and family. I care – to a fault. But all of that just means that I need a place to vent – and….LUCKY YOU!
If you have any questions you’d like answered, feel free to ask them in the comment section. If you have an apartment manager question – or just would like to know how Sassy would handle a certain situation, I’ll be happy to provide you with my version of the way shit should go down. Comments are awesome. I don’t really want to fucking beg you to comment or anything, but seriously…would it kill you to type something down there? I mean…it takes just a second or two, right? C’mon…I dare you.