What in the HOLY HELL?!

Hey y’all!

I have a few “What in the HOLY HELL” moments for you.

  1. When you go through a drive-thru and ask for “a bunch of ketchup” and they give you TWO MOTHERFUCKING KETCHUP PACKETS?! Is there a shortage? Is there a contest to see who can have the most ketchup still in their box at the end of the day? Perhaps I need to be more specific – I NEED 8 KETCHUP PACKETS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
  2. You order nachos at a restaurant – they bring it to you on a platter worthy of your Thanksgiving Turkey and the container holding the EVER-POPULAR salsa condiment contains about 3 tablespoons of that glorious nectar. “Would it be possible to get A LOT more salsa, please?” Sure – the waitress says…followed by placing 3 more tablespoons of salsa next to your Mount Everest sized platter of nachos.
  3. Why are fast food restaurants so stingy with the napkins? You get up to the drive-thru window and it’s BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that you’re on a road trip – your car is PACKED TO THE GILLS, kids crammed in the back seat, dogs sitting on top of whatever they can plop their butt on – FAMILY OF 4 – and they give you 3 napkins.
  4. This may just be me, but have you ever gone out for a night on the town – or simply to dinner – and had the ultimate goal of getting just a tad bit shitfaced that night? So you order a drink. You consume that drink. You’re with your significant other, they ordered a drink and finished that drink as well, and the waitress comes to the table and asks your significant other if they want another drink, but they COMPLETELY FUCKING IGNORE YOU – AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF? THEY TAKE YOUR EMPTY FUCKING MARGARITA GLASS?!?
  5. Do you know the difference between a blended Strawberry Margarita and a Strawberry Daqueri? I’ll tell you. One is made with tequila and one is made with rum. I’m not a fan of tequila. 95% of the time I order a Strawberry Daqueri? I get a Strawberry Margarita.  I drink it every time, but it’s gotten to be quite the joke around the dinner table when the hubby and I go out.

Do you have any glorious WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL moments you’d like to share in the comment section? I cannot WAIT to see what you all have to say.


8 thoughts on “What in the HOLY HELL?!

  1. ekgo says:

    Oh, WP and I are having a fight tonight and I’m getting angry so maybe that’s my What the HOLY HELL moment? Anyway, I’m going to comment in a series and not all at once because I don’t want to retype this one more time.

  2. ekgo says:

    I don’t actally have What the HOLY HELL moments because, by this point? They are all WtHH moments so it’s become normal. Nothing to write home about, nothing to see here. Everything is normal (and awesome)
    That being said, however (go to next comment)

  3. ekgo says:

    #1 =NOT OK!!! And that is the very reason I went all specific when asking for … anything. “Please give me 2 dozen ketchup packets, 4 hot mustard sauces, and 9 little salts. Please and thank you.” And wen it doesn’t happen, you throw a hex at the offending party as you drive away.

  4. ekgo says:

    #2 = My BFF and I used to frequent this one Mexican restaurant and, at first, they’d bring us our starter chips and salsa and we’d tell them we would be needing a lot more salsa and they didn’t believe us and wound up running back to the kitchen ten million times for more salsa as a result. But something changed…maybe they put our pictures up in the kitchen under signs that said MOAR SALSAS, I don’t know…and they took to giving us each our own little dish of salsa when we sat down and then would bring us each another when they took our orders and then again when they delivered our food. The point of this story is: Be persistent. Then tip super well when your efforts pay off.

  5. ekgo says:

    #3 = That doesn’t actally happen here. I fact, I still have a stash of napkins left from the last time I went through a fast food drive through…about two years ago. I should send them to you! Theyre just sitting in the little door pocket, gathering dust.

  6. ekgo says:

    Alright. I had good intentions but this battle with WP is pissing me off. Just know that i feel for ya, I know your pain…well, most of it…and I got your comment count up like crazy so…all good!

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