Apartment Manager Tales: EFF YOU MOTHER EFFER!

So I have this tenant that has been supporting his family (somehow) by recycling metal. Once we caught wind of it, we sort of used him every once in awhile to take our old broken appliances away – ZERO cost to us to get rid of the crap – BENEFIT for him was, we helped him with money so that he would (hopefully) pay his rent on time. You may remember this guy from my last post about the crazy motherfucker that couldn’t pay his rent on time, told me I was “threatening” him with slapping him with late fees and then later telling me what a great fucking job we were doing managing the property and if we had a larger apartment for rent – TO WHICH I REPLIED – “Uuuuuhhhhhhhh……dude? You can’t even pay your rent on time with the apartment you have NOW.” Yeah – that guy.

ANYWAY – we decided that he was an ungrateful SUNUVABITCH so we cut him off. We stopped giving him our old nasty appliances to teach that jackhole a LESSON. SIDE MOTHERFUCKING NOTE: for shits and giggles, I just right clicked on the word “SUNUBABITCH” and the correction my spellcheck gave was “BITCHINESS”. Word to your mother, spellcheck…word to your mother.


So the other day, our appliance store brought 3 new appliances to us and they were going to take 10 (That’s TEN…1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) with him to do whatever he wanted to with, because let’s face it…I don’t care as long as they aren’t here anymore, and Mr. Sunuvabtich stopped him and said he had a CONTRACT with us and that he wasn’t going to be taking them. Now, my vendors know me and he clearly stated that the MANAGER had told him to take them away and he did…but this is the SECOND time this asshead has told someone that he works for me in some way, shape or form. And it’s just not true. I called him out on it the first time. My maintenance guy is handling this most recent instance of retardedness, because I fear I’d end up on jail. That vein in my forehead is popped out all nice and prominent just from typing this out…



9 thoughts on “Apartment Manager Tales: EFF YOU MOTHER EFFER!

  1. DUH'Merica says:

    Wow, I can already see the headlines; “Tenant Murders Landlord and Stuffs Bodies in Old Refrigerator”

  2. ekgo says:

    I LOVE this guy!
    He’s my new favorite pathetic loser. It’s like he write these stories for you!
    He needs a name, though. You must name him.

    • sassypanties says:

      So “Motherfucker Asshead” isn’t doing it for you? How about “Gary”? Most Gary’s are assheads…

      No offense if your name is Gary, y’all.

      • ekgo says:

        Well, “Motherfucker Asshead” is such a broad, general term. Like “idiot” or “Why won’t you die?” It’s just too applicable to too many people and not specific enough. We’d be all, “MFAH? Which one?”
        But Gary works. I’d have also been fine with Paul. I have animosity toward many Pauls.

      • sassypanties says:

        I had a coworker I named Asshead because a normal traditional name wouldn’t cut it. He was great blogging material…

  3. He sounds like a Zach or a Henry. Either way, what sort of place are you running there?

  4. OMG.

    Like…let me read this shit …….AGAIN. AND MAYBE AGAIN AFTER THAT…you know.

    Cause like..it’s just too damn good not to.
    I’ll get back with you in a few. K? LYMI


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