When Your BFF Is Married To An Asshole – and – MORE Apartment Manager Tales

Hey y’all. It’s been a couple weeks, eh? I told you that summers are busy in Sassyland!! I miss you all so very much!!!

Lots of stuff has happened at the new apartment complex I’m managing. But we’ll get to that later…I have a bitch session to get out of the way first…involving my BFF’s ass-for-brains husband. Profanity shall flow free. Prepare yourselves…

First of all – I wasn’t entirely thrilled she decided to marry this dude – and you know me…Mrs. Big Mouth…I made sure she knew I had some internal feelings about this dude – but I wanted her to feel happy and so who am I to talk her out of it? All I could do is bring certain behaviors to light – and since I feel that I’m an old pro at the marriage thing, because I’ve been married for almost 22 years, I, from time-to-time will be her marriage counselor when she shares her feelings with me about “stuff”.

My BFF was in a car accident about 3 weeks ago. SHE’S FINE, still has back pain and dizzy spells, but it’s supposed to start getting better any time now…

This left her with no vehicle because some motherfucker was driving a.) without a license and 2.) no insurance. Thank G-O-D for uninsured motorist coverage, right? RIGHT!!!!!! Here’s how it shook down – this motherfucker ran a red light, smashed into my BFF and then proceeded to get out of the car and yell at her for running HER red light – only when the motherfucker did that, my BFF was all – “MY LIGHT WAS FUCKING GREEN! IT STILL IS, BITCH!!!!!! LOOOOOOKKK!!!!!!” *points up at light*

So yeah…insurance is going to give her a check for her car that was totaled and she is also going to get a hefty sum for being injured which brings us to LAST SUNDAY.

I got a text message from her that said something like, “I’m gonna go get a new car today! Come with me! PLEASE!?!?!” – I mean….how could I refuse? (She had been looking fairly hard for something to replace the vehicle she loved so much – only to be disappointed time and time again because the seller would not haggle on price…)

Her goal? To get a new car for 5% or better in the financing department and she was going to put down a HEFTY down payment. Her husband said, “As long as you can get 5% financing, then we’d be silly not to do it – and if they don’t do it, then just look for a car for me and you can drive it until you get your settlement and then you can just pay cash.”

Sounds like a motherfucking “GO FOR IT” to me…how’s about you?

Not only did my beautiful BFF meet the 5% that was requested of her…but…she got 4.9%. SHE BEAT THAT ASSWIPES request. She drive off the lot with the new car.

Later I get a text message from her saying that her husband doesn’t want to talk to her about the car or even go look at it. Now……………………if it were HIM who were going out to do this? I can tell you that my BFF would have gone with him, cheered him on, got excited when they got home, probably would have jumped his bones, then went out for a drive after all was said and done. What does HE do? Earphones in, watching a movie on his handheld electronic device and just said, “I don’t feel like talking about it.”

MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know…I come from the old school, I guess. For things of this nature, I would accompany my husband on a shopping spree such as this, we would go TOGETHER, we would be excited…I mean…seriously! Buying a new car is a major purchase!

Needless to say, she felt like she wanted to take the car back the very night she came home with it – to which I said, “DON’T you DARE!”. We had spent 5 hours at the dealership. She is basically going to pay this car off the minute she gets the settlement money and she can MORE than afford the payments each month and actually planned on making almost a quadruple payment each month just to get it paid off. I told her he’s acting like a spoiled motherfucking baby and that he needs to remove the stick/4×4 that is currently jammed HIGH up his ASS and act like a supportive husband instead of being jealous that my BFF could even GET a loan approved because he’s trying to be a shady motherfucker and avoid the child support attorneys.



Well…I can tell you that the TENANT DRAMA is much less here than the other place. Thank the good LAWD and the BABY JESUS!

The previous Manager, on the other hand? Oh. My. GAH! What a hot mess!

She had been here” managing” for 15 years or so. I quoted that word because she was never here and had the staff so intimidated that I could just cry when I hear some of the stories they tell. Verbal abuse and one degree away from physical abuse on multiple occasions. Underpaid and overworked. Hostile work environment. Lied to. There was some “alleged” stealing going on…I just don’t understand how someone can keep a job unless they are cover-up artists or the owners and management just didn’t care. I guess if you make yourself look good on paper, it doesn’t matter what you do, eh? Enter DETECTIVE SASSY!!!!!!!!

So I spent last week sort of observing how residents interacted with me – all of which were completely amazed, joyful, shocked, ECSTATIC that bitchypoo isn’t here anymore. My staff is skiddish – even still – and I can feel them walking on egg shells around me – just WAITING for me to go off on them for something. When I tell them “Thank you” or tell them “Good job” it’s like they shake their heads to try to wake themselves out of a dream. I will tell them something and it’s almost like they have been lied to for so long that when I tell them something, they raise an eyebrow or something. The cool part is that my maintenance guy came to this property with me – by my request – and he’s able to talk to these people and they are starting to come around and realize that the way things were is just not fucking right and that it’ll never ever be that bad again.

I cleaned out 15 years of CRAP out of the office closet. There was so much dust and bullshit paperwork from the last 15 years that I couldn’t even believe it. After my 10th trip to the dumpster, I think I may have gotten to the bottom of it to see that there was carpet in the closet. It. Was. That. Bad. Y’all. I saved anything that was hand written or seemed like a file or anything – because I have heard about this type of thing happen before and it was later discovered that the manager was stealing money and things like that for quite some time…so I learned that absolutely nothing other than OBVIOUS garbage gets thrown out.

So while I may not have any Apartment Management Tales to share with you about residents CLIMBING THROUGH MY FUCKING WINDOW TO GET AT ME – I’m sure there will be plenty of other stories as things surface about how this lady was doing some pretty shady shit. The hard part will be to convince the maintenance guy who worked for her to tell me everything and feel safe doing so. I get little nuggets of info out of him on a daily basis…so it’s only a matter of time until I get the full scoop.

Hey! Thanks for stopping by again! 🙂




11 thoughts on “When Your BFF Is Married To An Asshole – and – MORE Apartment Manager Tales

  1. First off I’m very sorry you BFF was hit by some jerk BUT I’m very glad she’s going to be okay.
    Thank you for being such a good friend to your BFF and going with her to buy a new car. She’s lucky to have you. As for her husband HE should have gone with her and been happy for her. I’d say the jerk is jealous that she now has a new car and did it without him! I will never understand why people can’t be happy for other people instead of being jealous …..especially people they love. Kind of makes me want to whop your BFF’s husband right upside the head!

    I’m glad you’re out of the last place…too many nasty folks there! Sounds to me like the previous manager at the new place spent more time not working than working! Save everything so that if it turns out she wasn’t on the up and up you have your butt covered!

    Glad you are loving the new job! Big hugs!

    • sassypanties says:

      Thanks Mare!!!!! Sometimes I don’t understand their relationship. Separate money, going halvsies on bills…it just seems like it’s all, “Take care of myself and ta hell with YOU!” Seems strange.

      And yes. The vibe I got from her when I met her the one time was that she was a disrespectful, loud-mouthed, dishonest, shady, rude bully. Everything I look at or touch that has her handwriting on it is getting stored.

      • I don’t get the separate $$ thing at all! Is that something they both came up with or just the JERK. Couples I know with that policy seem to be ones who want to make sure there is an out clause, were married before and got burned or ones where one spouse is a complete asshole!
        In our house WE are married and so each and every lovely bill is OURS. We don’t care who made the $$ as long as the kiddo’s can still eat us out of house and home in comfort 🙂

      • sassypanties says:

        Amen sister.

        I think you hit the nail on the head with the “married before and got burnt”. His ex has made his life hell…or so it seems.

  2. ekgo says:

    This post was BLOCKED FOR PORNOGRAPHY at my library.
    Don’t worry, I made them give me the override password but I thought you’d be impressed. By the blockage, not by me having a password.

  3. Katelyn says:

    What a jerk! My sister divorced one of those so-called men, best decision she ever made! Still tied to him through their son though, I’ve gotten a pretty mean glare down pat for those times we have to see him at soccer/t-ball games and what not. I get the urge still to kick him in the privates… one of these days Sassy… one of these days.

    As for that apartment manager, I can’t wait to see what you discover. It sounds like you should be thankful you didn’t discover the skeletal remains of some past maintenance worker in that closet!

  4. Kevin says:

    Hey, this is some good stuff. Bummer your BFF got nailed but at least she gets to deal with a caring, loving husband when it comes to the car thing. Man, I hate car shopping so I admire you even going with her.

    Can’t wait to hear more about the Apt Mgr tales!

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