Commencement Speech FAIL!

Hello my lovies. I just witnessed the first of my nephews/nieces graduate high school. I bawled like a big fat baby, too. SEE? I HAVE A HEART! A GIANT, BIG, FAT, WEEPY, SENTIMENTAL HEART!

cousins

 

That’s him…in the upper left corner.

I’m the kooky Auntie Sassy. The one all the kids know will make them laugh, give them gum, spoil them rotten and kick their ass if needed. So while I was hootin’ and a hollerin’ for him as he came out from behind the magic curtain for the graduates to find their seats, I was excited. As the boring, but obligatory band camp nerds played their music, our family was snapping pictures like crazy Asian tourists and causing a scene, the speeches commenced.

One speech in particular was so absolutely horrible that I cannot even explain it to you – you’re just going to have to read part of it for yourself. This. Is. Bad.

Commencement speeches are supposed to be reflective, inspirational, lighthearted about what is around the corner, and full of hope and encouragement. The gentleman who read the following poem…well…? I think he may have had a book of poetry and closed his eyes, flipped through the pages and blindly jammed a finger into the book and where ever his finger landed? THAT was the poem he was going to read. Here it is:

Yourself To Blame

by Mayme White Miller

If things go bad for you
And make you a bit ashamed
Often you will find out that
You have yourself to blame

Swiftly we ran to mischief
And then the bad luck came
Why do we fault others?
We have ourselves to blame

Whatever happens to us,
Here is what we say
“Had it not been for so-and-so
Things wouldn’t have gone that way.”

And if you are short of friends,
I’ll tell you what to do
Make an examination,
You’ll find the faults in you…

You’re the captain of your ship,
So agree with the same
If you travel downward
You have yourself to blame

I KNOW, YOU GUYS!!!!! (foghorn sound here…)

After it was over, we were driving home making fun of it the entire time. We re-titled it to be “It’s Your OWN DAMN FAULT” and we were making up our own lines to it.

Other than this epic speech fail, I cried several times. It’s the first of my nieces and nephews to graduate and it gave me a glimpse into next year, when my own daughter will graduate and I know for certain that I’m not ready. I just posted pictures on The Facebook last night of her as a little baby/toddler and it got misty…so…this next year will be a tough one for ol’ momma.

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