What’s In My Purse? And Search Engine Terms…

Holy mother of all things, holy! I looked at my stats, as I’m known to do several times a day – CAN I GET AN AMEN?!? – when I came across my Search Engine Terms that eventually link people to my blog. Let me tell you something. People on the internet are sick fucko’s….

Search Engine Term: “fucking daddy”

REALLY, INTERWEBS?! That is disgusting. I can only assume that it had something to do with my post yesterday about my dog’s pet peeves. I may have had the words “fucking” and “daddy” somewhat close together at one or two points throughout my post…but…Holy Jesus. That’s a bit of a stretch.

Day 8 of my 31 day Blogging Adventure Challenge of the Century Thingy says it wants me to tell you what is in my purse. I don’t know how the dudes that are doing this challenge will tackle this one…but let me give you a wee bit of good advice…

DO NOT GO THROUGH YOUR WIFE’S/GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS/SIGNIFICANT OTHERS PURSE OR MANBAG! This would be a recipe for disaster for your relationship. Trust ol’ Sassy on this one, m’kay?

The contents of my purse – after I just did a clean sweep because I’m not going to tell you about the GO-ZILLION gum wrappers that were in there or empty packs of Extra Peppermint Gum were in there either. Okay. FINE! There were 4. FOUR EMPTY PACKS OF GUM. ARE YOU HAPPY?!

I currently have:

  • one duracell battery for a garage door clicker (still in the package)
  • 3 packs of gum…two of which are partially empty, one of which is still hermetically sealed from the gum factory.
  • my girlie rear-view dangly thingy that broke and I intend to fix. I’m not gonna lie…I totally forgot it was in there.
  • one coupon for a free regular taco at Taco Bell because I donated a dollar to help local kids graduate. It expires on June 21st. I sure hope I remember to cash that sucker in.
  • my mothers garage and security gate clickers.
  • a Ped-Egg. Hey! Ya never know when you need to give yourself smooth silky heels. AMIRITELADIES?!
  • one Rimmel Lipstick Tube – color 264 – Coffee Shimmer.
  • I actually have a small purse inside of my big purse. It’s like a Purse Matryoshka Doll. Only it stops at 2.
  • $.13
  • a tube of Softlips chapsticky stuff.
  • reading glasses. shut up. I’m getting old.
  • TAMPONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Girls? If you ever need one, I’ve got some. Werd.
  • typically my celly is in my purse, but right now it’s on my desk.
  • sunglasses.
  • oops. I just found more gum wrappers.
  • my cell phone case that has my credit cards and ID placed inside, along with my SAFEWAY CLUB CARD, if you must know.

There you have it. What a fascinating read THAT was.



10 thoughts on “What’s In My Purse? And Search Engine Terms…

  1. suzie81 says:

    Great post. My handbag is often called the ‘Mary Poppins’ bag. Once I put something in there, I can’t bleeding find it again!!!

    • sassypanties says:

      I’ve never been over the top girly with my purses. I think the fact that I have a purse inside my purse? Pretty much tells you I ran out of crap to put in there…you’ll notice I don’t even carry a brush OR mascara in there…

  2. My purse is a graveyard for all the wrappers of things I’ve eaten.

  3. Ray says:

    My day 8 is tomorrow, and thank GOD I have no handbag or European “MURSE” I carry… What about my wallet? I don’t even carry a you know what in it… LOL! Boring!

  4. PinotNinja says:

    I also use the Russian Nesting Dolls system of purse organization. I have a little purse, containing the essentials (credit card, ID, hair ties, a crumpled wad of receipts I can’t remember to throw away). This goes inside of the bigger purse that adds in items like random make-up, aleve, tampons, etc. And then all of this goes inside my big tote bag where I also throw my gym clothes, flip flops, and umbrella. I carry this behemoth of stuff with me every day to work. It’s out of control, but I just can’t pare it down.

  5. This made me stop and wonder what is in that damn purse of mine. So here goes…..brush, make up bag, wallet, credit cards, bank cards, medical insurance cards–one for each of us….8, dental cards…one for each of us…8, one eye care card….receipts, tweezers, cell phone, lighter, cigarettes, 2 checkbooks, sunglasses, glass case, pictures of the kids, funeral cards from my Mom, store list, 5 pennies (never keep cash cause the kids will use me as an ATM), tampons, pads…think that’s it.
    Now of course I carry another bag for work along with the purse….maps, routes, pens, pencils, water, Pepsi, jolly ranchers, dum dums, tootsie roll pops, pretzel sticks, crackers, calendar, journal, nook, umbrella….I think that might be it!

    I might need to start keeping nunchecks in there since 2 bitches at work want to do battle for some unknown reason with the “short, Italian, fat bitch.” Oh what a week I’ve had.

    Love ya!

    • sassypanties says:

      Wait a fucking second…”short Italian fat bitch”?!?!?! OH. NO. THEY. DI’ENT!!!!!!

      I’m feeling stabby all of a sudden. They better not fuck with you. I will choke them the hell OUT!

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