My Pet(s) Peeves

This will be MY INTERPRETATION of “Your Pet Peeves” on Day 7 of the 31 day Blogging Adventure. Which I’m taking as, “WHAT DOES YOUR PET, PEEVE?”

This is my pet:

This is Sierra the Wonderdog

While, in this picture it’s utterly obvious that she is as sassy as I am – what with her laughing in the face of “the man” and all…She has a few pet peeves – and I know this because when everyone else goes to bed, we have long conversations. Sometimes we just stay up all night snuggling and talking…

Here are her top 10 pet peeves:

1. Squirrels – they move too fast.
2. Birds – the move too fast.
3. Sticks – don’t fucking tell me to get get that damned stick. You do it  ONE MORE TIME and I will eat. your. face.
4. Food – When I whine? It means ONE OF TWO FUCKING THINGS, KIDS! It means I’m a.) HUNGRY AS SHIT or b.)I NEED TO PEE OR POOP. Otherwise I just SLEEP. HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO TELL YOU BEFORE YOU FUCKING GET IT, ALREADY?!?!?!?!
5. Those fucking Doggie Sweaters – Quit it.
6. Those antlers you put on me at Christmas – I hate that shit. Stop it. Buy me milkbones instead, dammit. In fact, put them in my stocking that is always fucking empty. Santa is a forgetful sunnuvabitch, isn’t he? Bastard.
7. Paper towel tubes – If my daddy human puts one of those on my fucking paw and up my leg one more time because he wants to fall out of his chair laughing at me as I walk like a peg legged pirate…he’s going down.
8. The Mail Man – I don’t know why the mail man is afraid of me. I wag my tail and sit so nice when he comes close to the door, until he sees me, then he freaks and poops his pants. I’m a LOVER NOT A FIGHTER!
9. Cheese – IT. IS. MY. FAVORITE. FOOD, MAN. I could be OUTSIDE and when mommy opens the fridge and opens the wrapper…it’s all I can do to get in the house fast enough. PLEASE, MOMMY! DROP SOME! DROP SOME! DROP SOME! LOOK. AT. ME. I’m fucking ADORABLE! YOU NEED TO GIVE ME SOME OF THAT CHEESE!!!!!
10. My Poop – you may not know this…but when you have to clean up my poop, it makes me laugh.