By now, you’re probably all sick and tired of reading my rantings about being an Apartment Manager, but it’s honestly the gift that keeps on giving for someone as satirically gifted as me, so unfortunately, you’re going to have to keep dealing with it.
We’ve been cracking down on parking around here – and if you know about my blog, you’ve probably read about this recently. We had a tow-palooza a couple weeks back and miraculously enough, hardly anyone parks in the fire zones anymore – GO FIGURE.
So on the 21st of May, my maintenance guy tagged a car with a parking violation for having a totally run-down piece of shit that has two flat tires, a cracked windshield, the carburetor was sitting on the front seat and it had one of the biggest piles of kitty litter I’ve ever seen under a vehicle, that was being used to soak up the oil and anti-freeze that had been leaking all over the parking lot – oh, and the tabs on the vehicle had been expired since 2009. Curiously enough, when the tow truck driver came that evening, this assmunch paid the driver $100 to unhook his truck from the tow truck and leave it in the parking space.
Assmunch called me that same day(prior to the tow-palooza) asking why his car had a parking violation and I explained that his tabs are expired and that his car is in such utter disrepair that if he didn’t get it fixed within 24 hours, that it would be towed. He didn’t like that very much.
But I’ll tell you what he didn’t like MORE...when I towed his car yesterday. The day before – on Tuesday, we tagged it with a “Last Chance” warning (after giving him several days after the first tow attempt to rectify his issues). He removed the violation from his window and placed the receipt from the $100 he paid the tow driver over a week ago under his windshield wiper. I’m not sure what he was trying to accomplish with this, but if you’ve ever watched an episode of Parking Wars, you’ll know that parking infractions are not resolved unless you stop making them. Therefore, he was given the 24 hour notice on Tuesday at 10am. At 11:05 am on Wednesday, I called the tow truck. They came and took his POS away.
Fast forward to 3:25pm yesterday when the door to my office flew open.
Him: Where’s my truck.
Me: Oh, I had it towed.
Him: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR!? WHY?
Me: You were given TWO parking violations and you didn’t do anything about getting your vehicle’s issues rectified…(my voice trails off because he’s yelling at me…)
Him: Did you even look inside the vehicle to know what was inside?
Me: You need to contact the towing company for that.
Him: YOU ARE FUCKING RIDICULOUS!
Me: Go ahead and leave the office. You should have fixed your car and gotten the tabs renewed. You’ve been warned…TWICE. And now you’re yelling and cursing at me for doing my job. Get out.
Him: OH. YOU. JUST. WAIT – WATCH THIS!
And then he left the office as my maintenance guy came in and stood at my car for a few minutes – I assume he was taking down my license plate # to have ME towed – only, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, ASSMUNCH! My tabs are CURRENT and my car is NEW. So…