I’m currently sitting in one of the busiest Starbucks locations in the country. You can look it up, I’m serious! 72nd and Hosmer in Tacoma, Wa.
If you knew anything about me, you’d know I’m out of my element here. The hubs was going to take the kiddos, 16 & 11 for coffee and some hang-out time. They rarely invite me for such things as the concept of drinking coffee and hanging out in a yuppy coffee shop is lost on me. But this time, he asked, and this time, I accepted.
Walking into a Starbucks sort of gets my anxiety levels up. I just have no fucking idea how to order anything and I hate coffee, so I pretty much just stand in line and ask the kids or order me “one of those vanilla milkshake thingies I like so much”. I have no idea what the proper term for this beverage is…and I’m okay with that. I tasted one of these milkshake thingies when the kids got one once and it’s the only thing I’ve ever ordered, in the whole 5 times I’ve ever gone.
Another thing that gets me riled up is the amount of time some folks spend in one if these establishments. And the fact that people bring their laptops and stuff. Now, I realize I’m blogging right now, as I sit here, at STARBUCKS. But…I’m on my iPhone using my WordPress app, so that’s not the same thing – or at least that’s what I’m telling myself…
Anyway…there were people reading, doing what I assumed to be homework, four people, one of whom I’m guessing was a counselor – and they appeared to be hashing some things out. There were people coming and going and the drive thru was lined up around the building. I’m sure, when Starbucks first opened, it may have been a nice, quiet atmosphere. Today? It was motherfucking BUSY AS SHIT! I can’t imagine wanting to do anything productive in there.
And, I didn’t tell you about how I was the first person in the family to order my milkshake thingy and after the rest of the family was sipping on their respective piping hot beverages, there I was…waiting at the mercy if the coffee making dude to say, “Milkshake Thingy?”…only I was standing there for like, 15 minutes and he never uttered a peep about a milkshake thingy. So my daughter came over and asked him if he had made a milkshake thingy-only she calked it the right name-and he looked at her and said, “No.”, and went back to whatever he was making.
So I went up to the dude that I ordered my drink from and was all, “my milkshake thingy never got to me.” And he was all sorry and stuff and went over to the coffee making dude and asked him to make it and then he started flailing shit around the place. Slamming ice and milk and whatever else goes into my milkshake thingy and poured it AGGRESSIVELY into my plastic cup and squirted a glob of whipped cream on the top. He smirked at me and said, “Here ya go!” No, “Sorry” or “Kiss my ass” or anything! And the whole time the coffee making dude was making my milkshake thingy? I was eyeballing the SHIT out of him because I didn’t want him to spit in it.
I don’t think I’ll be dragged off to Starbucks for another several months.
What’s your favorite beverage? Mine is Pepsi. I can’t get enough if that stuff.