She was one crazy bitch

Well, it’s never a dull moment in the property management business.

People are assholes.

I realize that’s a really general statement…but honestly, it fits.

Let me share with you what happened about 4 weeks ago:

I had a tenant here that I had gotten several complaints about from their neighbors and I had given them written warnings about 3 times that all the traffic coming and going from their apartment was unacceptable and also that driving through the parking lots on the property at MACH 3 was not only stupid, but dangerous for all the children that live and play around here – not to mention the fact that we border an elementary school and you can access the school grounds by a staircase from one of my parking lots to the field of the school – which means we have children coming and going at all hours of the day. I also mentioned in the written warnings that there were a substantial amount of cigarette butts surrounding the walkways of their apartment and that this was unacceptable and that they are responsible for the actions and behavior of their “guests”. (I also know that they were selling drugs out of that apartment – but I can’t PROVE it, so…clearly, these are undesirable people.)

Not only were these complaints from neighbors, but I was seriously getting tired of them paying their rent late EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. MONTH.

Her response to my written notices were: I’m not the one smoking. It’s not my car. I don’t have a lot of traffic at my apartment. Okaaaaaayy…..well………’re full of shit.

So let’s move forward in time to February when again, she was late with her rent. We have these notices we post on the apartment doors of those who are late with their rent – We call them “3-day notices to pay or vacate”. Basically – we want them to pay their rent. After all, I’m not running a shelter here. You can’t live here for free. Plain and simple.

I serve these notices on the 6th of every month. She came in with a partial payment so I decided a couple months back, that this was someone that should not live here and I decided that if she made any lease infractions that I was going to pursue an eviction and get her the heck out of here. When she came in with her partial rent payment for February, I had decided ahead of time that I was going to serve her with a new 3-day notice until the balance was paid. The cool thing about a 3-day notice is that if it expires before the tenant makes a rent payment, the landlord is not obligated to accept further rent payments. So this was her first payment and I slapped a 3-day notice on the counter before I handed her a receipt.

Just before the end of the 3rd day, she came in with a second installment on her rent. I slapped another 3-day notice on the counter. She hadn’t paid off her entire February rent to me. She owed $76 still, along with late fees which totaled about $70. The 3-day notice expired this time with no payment from the tenant so I went ahead and contacted my Eviction Company and we started the process.

A few days later she came into my office to hand me her rent check – which I declined to accept because the eviction process had already started and at this point, I wanted them gone.

She said, “I only owe you $76.”

I said, “You actually owe me $146. We’ve started an eviction. You may speak with our attorney.”

She said, “You’re evicting me over $76?”

I said, “I’m evicting you for $146 – which includes your late fees. You were given a 3-day notice when you made your last payment to me. It expired. You’re in the midst of an eviction. And by the way, I can evict you for $1.”

She didn’t like that very much.

I said, “I can give you the phone number to our attorney and you can have any further conversation with them.”

At which point she got super ghetto fabulous and called me a “Fuckin’ Bitch” and a few other things. I returned to my desk.

I said, “Well…since I’m a “fucking bitch”, as you put it, you can now leave my office and refer to the paperwork that you were served last Friday at 8:57 pm for the phone number to the attorney. I’m not giving it to you and you need to leave.”

She screamed bloody murder. Told me to give her the number over and over again. Which I did not do. And told her one last time to leave my office or I was going to call the police.

She didn’t leave. I dialed 911.

While on the phone with 911, I was attempting to answer the questions the operator was asking – unsuccessfully – because Miss THANG was screaming at the top of her lungs and I couldn’t hear what the operator was saying.

While I was trying to answer the questions, Miss Thang climbed through my customer service window which is a standard 4’x4′ opening in the wall about 4′ off the floor with about a 12″ wide counter piece so that my residents can write out their checks to me and all of that jazz. She climbed through the window opening, walked across the desk that I have towards the front of the office and jumped down and blocked me in at my desk….all while I was on the phone with 911.

My conversation went something like this with 911:

Hi, One of my residents will not leave my office. She’s being belligerent and…

Um…she’s crawling through my customer service window…

She’s walking on the desk coming towards me.

She’s standing 12 inches from my face as I sit at my desk in my office.

While I was on the phone with 911 and she was about 12 inches from my face, she leaned in a little closer and said – practically into the receiver of the telephone, “If I wanted to do something to you? Trust me. I would have done it already.”

I’m thinking to myself, “You realize that all 911 phone calls are recorded, right? Dumbass.” But I kept that thought to myself, you know, considering the circumstances…

Pretty much after that she walked off, but before she slammed my office door, she made sure to sweep everything I had on the desk onto the floor – and once the eminent threat of me being harmed was over, 911 hung up with me and I waited for the police to show up.

So the police came and the bitch didn’t have the intestinal fortitude to answer the door when they knocked on it. I went down and filed an anti-harassment order on her and decided that I had had enough excitement for one day and went home.

Now – you might ask, “Jeepers, Sassy! Weren’t you scared? Did you shit your britches?”

My answer? Well…FUCK YEAH! I’m a lover, not a fighter! I bitch and rant and rave here on this blog, but in reality, I’m a fucking teddy bear and honestly…I don’t really like confrontation. It’s not my “thing”. In fact, while I was on the phone with 911 and the bitch crawled through my window, I just stayed sitting at my desk – almost watching this whole situation play out in front of me as though I was watching the latest Quentin Tarantino movie. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t lived through it. I’m certain that my hands were shaking – but I was trying to act like her actions weren’t affecting me in the least.




9 thoughts on “She was one crazy bitch

  1. H. Stern says:

    TG YOU’RE OK!!! You went to court with her, right? What happened? She was evicted?? I NEED MORE INFO!!!!

    • sassypanties says:

      Okay, so. She was evicted on March 6th, which coincidentally was my court date to get my restraining order enforced. NOOOOOOOBODY thought she would show up in court, but….SHE FUCKING DID!!!! And I told the judge everything, and she didn’t deny any of it…AND THAT MOTHERFUCKING JUDGE DENIED MY RESTRAINING ORDER!!!! He basically said, “You acted inappropriately and I think you know that this lady is just doing her job and I expect you to stay away from her.”

      And I was all….. “???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And the room kinda started spinning and stuff.

      But…she’s gone and I’m on to bigger and better things. So…there ya go. 🙂

      • H. Stern says:

        Dude… WHAT? I “expect” you to stay away from her? How about, “I expect people to not jump through windows?!”

        Whatever. Like you said, you’re ok!!

  2. H. Stern says:

    Also, did you know MoM is lurking around here, randomly commenting sometimes? It’s awesome. Not as awesome as you blogging, but it still kinda makes my day.

    • sassypanties says:

      Yes, I know she is!!! And I’m a really lame friend for a lot of reasons: the first two are #1. Not being able to make it to the East Coast to visit my most special friends. And Número Dos: not being here enough and not reading your blog.

      Both of these I hope to rectify very soon.

  3. Mary Alice says:

    And I am not lurking! LOL I couldn’t find the damn blogs and have been up to my eyeballs in doing all these kids taxes along with mine but now that I’ve found you…….I’m here to stay!

    First let me say I can tell you that I wouldn’t have been as nice as you Carm! I would have had to clock that bitch with whatever I could lay my hands on the second she started crawling through that hole. I’m glad you got her out and she’s a thing of the past but be careful! Hope you have some kind of protection in that place.

    Carm you are not lame. You’ll get here one day. I however am tired of living life saying some day. I do that too much! So this year I am determined to do what I want a little more. Hannah is threatening to move to Ireland so I plan to get my butt to see that adorable baby sometime before the summer. I’m terrible at driving at night so I might have to leave at early in the am so I can have enough time to visit and get home before dark but I’m going to do it!

    I love ya both and it has occurred to me that I’m not going to get forever so I better start doing the things I really want to do. If I sit and wait for my hub to do things with me….I’ll never get to do a thing!

    Have a wonderful day! Sending all my love and all the big hugs I can send!

  4. Peabea says:

    Did not know you were blogging again. Love the blog name…at first didn’t recognize who you were. hahaha ~hugs~

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