Funny thing about being able to read people. Your expectations are consistently met. It’s a curse, really. And when you have a flair for sarcasm and even the sarcastic version of what you expect to happen, happens? It’s…well? Poetry.
I’ve recently given my notice at work. It’s been a long time coming and my blog site is peppered with stories about this job. Basically? 360 days ago? My dad died. Fucking piece of shit CANCER SUNNOFABITCH. I digress…
My dad started a business over 25 hears ago and before he got really sick, he decided to sell it to a man that had trained our clients for us. He became my new boss. I didn’t like this news then and now? Well…now…I just need to leave.
2 weeks ago when I gave my notice, I made a comment that they would hire someone 4′ tall and blonde (FUCK YOU SPELL CHECK! I’m putting an “e” on the end of BLONDE no matter what the fuck you say!!!!!). Well…guess what? She’s 4’10”. I was CLOSE. When Mrs. Bosshole came up to me to tell me that she hired someone, she said, “So, we hired someone. She starts Monday.” And so I asked who she is, and she said, “The one with the cool shoes.” :o/
Because I know how shallow these people are, my head didn’t explode too badly…
That is…until…she said, “And guess what? After you leave I’m going to be the tallest girl in the office! She’s only 4′ 10”.”….and then it happened….
KABOOM!!!!!!!! Brains eeeevvvveeeerrrryyyywhere.
I also looked at Mrs. Bosshole with a look of disdain and empathy about how sad it is that she’s so judgey of people and doesn’t get to know people based on the content of their character, or in this case, their qualifications and abilities, but based on their height, weight and hair color. I didn’t say a word. What I did was even better. I looked her in the eye. Looked down at my desk and shook. my. head. Not fast or anything, it’s that shaking of the head you do when you are in utter disbelief of something that happens and you just simply don’t have words for it.
There was nothing said to me about her qualifications or abilities or how articulate she was or her work experience.
Basically? I’m going to know in about 3 days if this person is worth my time training them. I cannot WAIT to update you next Monday. And I swear to GOD, if she sneezes like a fucking car alarm? Someone is going to have to hold me back.
Is it too much to ask to have someone working here to replace me with some depth? Someone capable? Lord? If you’re up there listening? Please answer my prayer that this girl has a brain? If she doesn’t? Please help me win the lottery so I can just walk away from here and never look back. Amen.