I’m FINALLY a “Cool Kid” – only took 40 years.

There I was sitting in my front yard filling water balloons with my neighbors…two of which are pretty cool, then along comes the techno-nerd who talks about a buncha shit that I don’t care about WHATSOEVER…and across the street are my neighbors that I adore – only problem is that I only had two hoses for this water balloon filling project and so they didn’t come over, they just stayed in their own yard…and I was trapped.

One of the first things that happened was that my hubby came out saying he was making dinner for my youngest daughter. The “pretty cool” neighbors asked what he was making he said Hamburger Helper. FUCK MY LIFE! You should have seen the look on their faces. It was like HORROR.

I’m not an idiot. I know there are probably a million reasons we shouldn’t feed our kids Hamburger Fucking Helper, but hubby caved and bought it for them because they had it at daycare a long time ago and they asked for it so he bought it. And yesterday in front of GOD and EVERYBODY he broadcasted that he was making it for her. The conversation quickly turned to one of “their friends” who is a total organic nutjob. She can tell you about all the crappy stuff that is in almost any food – it was like her gift.

First of all, I KNOW…PRESERVATIVES…NITRATES…SULFATES…pretty much the worst shit on the planet is in that crap. Bleh. I get so sick of hearing people talk about what is bad for you. Makes me want to barf.

NEWSFLASH: Pretty much everything is bad for you. GET. OVER. IT.

So when the Techno-Nerd came over, I sat there for about 10 minutes, then decided I needed to go across the street to “make sure the other neighbors are doing okay” but what it really was, was me walking over there to ask them if they had a noose to hang myself with. The thing about this Techno-Nerd is that he’s got just about every beeper/cell phone/pda/ipad known to man and he flaunts it in front of everyone. Like, he offers to use his ipod because he’s got over 14,000 songs downloaded on that sunnofabitch. WWHHHHHHYYYYY??????????? It’s just annoying as HELL. He talks really monotone and under his breath a lot so I can’t even follow a conversation with him, I always seem to disappear. It’s really weird. I just remove myself when he starts talking to someone else. I even find ways to direct his attention away from me and onto someone else so that I CAN GET AWAY FROM HIM. He’s just an awkward weird dude.

For every one weirdo that doesn’t fit in there are always about 4-5 other households that make up for it. One is directly across the street from me, along with their next door neighbor and then the next two over from that as well. ALL 4 HOUSES ARE AWESOME, and the people who dwell in those homes are ALSO AWESOME! So…we all get along great and really like to make fun of the dorks in the Techno house. We’re the “cool kids”, I guess.


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