Holy Shitballs! 14 wake-ups till Maui…and a tangent

I’m an obsessed FREAK! I admit it. In early March my hubby said we should do something special for our 20th Anniversary. So we decided to look into Cruises. Well, as it turns out there aren’t any cruises that run to Mexico (which was our desired location – never been – cheap, etc.) in August because of….HURRICANE SEASON. Soooo, we went a little further west on the map and decided to go to Maui. That was 164 days ago. I’ve been counting down ever since.

I feel really pathetic, because I am not working all that much while I’m at work. I’m a slightly excitable person and well? I haven’t been able to think of much else for at LEAST the last month. I have researched it to DEATH! One thing I did a LONG time ago was secure a rental car. ONLY TO FIND OUT YESTERDAY that the place I reserved with had THE WORST RATE. Well, they didn’t at the time, but they DO NOW! So I called around AGAIN…saved $100. WOW! That’s like a LUAU of savings!

Then it donned on me…my brother has a hook up at Enterprise Rent a Car. So, I sent him a message and he’s gonna see if he can get me a free car rental while there! HOW AWESOME WOULD THAT BE?!?!?! That would save us $400!!!

WILD TANGENT~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good GAWD! Okay – you need to just sit there and read this rant because it is just sooo….FUCK!!! I’m grossed out beyond all recognition right now.

I work with this homely woman…she’s slightly younger than I am. Has 3 kids. She’s large…not that I’m NOT fluffy, myself…it’s just that she’s larger than me…

So she has a few habits at work that make me want to gag on a daily basis. If it’s not one, it’s another and on especially HORRIBLE days she does all of them and it just pisses me off.

  1. She clips her fingernails at her desk…which is RIGHT FUCKING IN FRONT OF ME.
  2. She eats NON STOP!!! I mean, Non. Stop. To the extent that she can’t like, wait her turn for a break and shit like that.
  3. She HUMS. CONSTANTLY!!! Not cool songs either. Mormon Hymns. Classical Piano Tunes. Nothing relevant or toe tapping. JUST. BORING. SHIT. And its grating on the nerves, let me tell you!
  4. She’s basically, well, stupid. She furls her eyebrow and looks at you with this stupid expression when she doesn’t understand you…and what she doesn’t understand are things like, “Here. Staple this, please.”
  5. Her thumbs look like big toes. I’m not shitting you. Someday I’ll have to post a picture.
  6. She shares just like way too much personal information. I.E.: She just sneezed. And promptly excused herself because she had to go to the restroom. Apparently her bladder, “isn’t what it used to be” after three kids. *ERP!!!*
  7. And last but certainly not least. She sneezes. Without covering her mouth. I asked her to once, you know what she said? “I’m not sick.” YOU JUST BASICALLY SPIT IN MY FACE, BITCH!!!!!! Oh, but you’re right…it’s good that you’re not sick. What a relief. For you, I mean.

This all led to me asking for a partial wall between our two desks. I couldn’t look at her anymore. It just grossed me out and I wanted to inflict bodily harm on her. The clipping and the sneezing and that look on her face was enough to put me in  a straight jacket.

So she just sneezed all over the place. I’m feeling queasy. She just excused herself to the bathroom. Anyone have any Dramamine? And possibly one of those Bubbles I could live in?


2 thoughts on “Holy Shitballs! 14 wake-ups till Maui…and a tangent

  1. So glad you are looking forward to your trip! You should be excited…it’s going to be great. As far as the woman who sits next to you? How many ways can you say gross???? Clipping her nails and sneezing in your face? Right there I’d have to put up another Berlin Wall! Hang in there! Soon you will be sucking down umbrella drinks and watching sunsets on the beach!

  2. Missy Take says:

    Maui is really nice – where we honeymooned. Anyway, anything Hawaii is worth the trip – enjoy! Happy Anniversary (whenever it may be, twenty years should be celebrated!)

    As for the fat ass across from you – gross!

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