How I Became a House Show Junkie

Originally posted on House Show Junkies:

Our first introduction to the House Show Concept was made by a lovely lady named Emma Hill. Here’s how this all came to be:

About three years ago, my husband was preparing to go for a run. Before he goes, he generally downloads the most recent TBTL podcast to listen to while he’s out. Typically during the run as he’s listening, they’ll play an indie artist or sometimes, not-so-indie and he’ll think to himself, “When I get home, I’m going to download that song…that was AWESOME!” and most of the time, he forgets because of that runners high or forgetfulness…you know how it goes.

But…three years ago…he actually remembered. From that moment on, Emma’s song Meet Me At The Moon was a part of our regular playlist rotation and we all really loved her sound – all of us being; my older daughter Katie, my younger daughter Alissa and…

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This One Is for Jenny…


Ugh. Feeling overwhelmed again…heading for that dark place that you hate to go to. You know what is great about being overwhelmed? When you start to see the light…you know that you had the strength inside yourself to fight your way back. And it’s worth it every time. Every. Single. Time. It’s worth it.

I’m not sure if you’ll even see this…but…there is a song a very close friend wrote and I want to share it with you.

This is a song that has come out of her struggles with depression and thankfully she has a brilliant mind and voice and the talent to put her feelings into a song and have something cleansing come from being able to perform it again and again. She doesn’t play this song at very many concerts…but I was lucky to be in the room when she did once, and it crushed my soul and brought hope at the same time because the simple fact that she (and you) are able to share with us when you have these moments, really means the world to those who love you the most. The most devastating thing to me as a friend and human being is when someone I care about so deeply is going through something and they don’t share it with me. If you don’t let us know – we can’t help. Even if it’s just telling someone you are struggling – maybe they can’t do a fucking thing about it to help you…but I wonder if verbalizing it and just taking the pressure off of yourself by letting someone other than YOU, know that you’re struggling is part of what helps you come out of the darkness a little bit.

You are never alone…ever. You are loved. Genuinely. Deeply. I’m aware that sometimes those facts get lost in the darkness. But I’m here. As are so many others.

Here are the lyrics to Sad Again, by Emma Hill

Nights are long and the dark lingers on
I feel the blues comin’ on by
Ground is caught under a blanket of cold
Can’t seem to find a bit of light
Will you take me as I am
So strung out and blue
Don’t know why it hurts so bad
To admit I’m sad to you
I fought the bottle
And it seems I may have won
But with that whiskey sippin’ daze all gone
All my feelings come undone
Will you take me as I am
So strung out and blue
Don’t know why it hurts so bad
To admit I’m sad to you
Will you take me as I am
So strung out and blue
Will you take me as I am
‘Cause I’m so sad again

Granted, it’s not a happy song, but sometimes, knowing that there is someone out there willing to take you as you are, and someone else that is able to articulate what you are feeling into a song, makes you feel that you are not alone.

I love you. I really do. You can ask anyone! ~ Carm

What is a House Show?


You guys! This is my new BLOG! I’m going to start writing about my House Show Experiences and want to start a movement across the WORLD that will help independent artists get in front of more people and I NEED YOUR HELP! Please follow HouseShowJunkies and join this discussion if you are into music and learning about new artists. You can also follow me on Twitter: @HouseConcertFan and like my page on The Facebook: House Concert Fans

Originally posted on House Show Junkies:

In a word? Magical. But we will get to that in a minute…

A House Show is basically an event that you will hold at your house. You’ll find the artist you’d like to perform, contact them, agree to dates you’d like to have them perform and then you’ll invite friends, family, fans to come hear them perform their craft.

Typically the artist will bring Merchandise to sell at the House Show and you’ll collect money at the “door” or…if you’re like us…you’ll beg people to dig deep and buy lots of loot so that the musicians can continue their tour and paying rent on time, etc.

The evening is usually filled with amazing musicianship, snacks, food, libations and lots and lots of laughter. There is something magical and special about a House Show. Each one has it’s own personality. You become more personally invested in the artists because you get to…

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It’s WTF Wednesday, y’all!!!

Dear Hostess, 

While myself and all the other poor addicted snack cake bastards are extremely glad that things turned out for the better and you brought us that little yellow spongy cake filled with white fluffy goo morsel of horrible deliciousness, I need to voice my disappointment.

You see, for many years, 43 to be exact, I have had my guilty pleasures satisfied by your delicious individually portioned snacks. I’ve enjoyed the SuzyQ, Cupcakes, Twinkies, HoHo’s, Sugared Donuts, those delicious poppable crunch-coconut Donuts…and lastly, but most importantly, the Berry Pie. 

While this list of goodies has probably made a few of my readers cringe and others raise their fist in solidarity – in their minds…because everyone knows that *no one* admits outwardly to enjoying a Twinkie – but the beauty of it is, you and I both know differently. It’s usually the one that complains the loudest about them being the most unhealthy snack – who you will find empty “shame wrappers” under the bed and shoved behind chest of drawers. 

Here’s my beef with your big comeback, Hostess. 


Ever since that whole company liquidating debacle and the fact that hoards of people stockpiled Twinkies as if the end of days was rapidly approaching thinking that if they were lucky enough to be spared, at least they’d have 18,000 packages of Twinkies on hand, I have searched high and low for your delicious Berry Pie, only to be let down time and time again. 

So please explain where they went. I cannot be the only weirdo who loved those suckers. Now? I have to settle for what I refer to as “Ghetto Berry Pies” because they are typically the store brand…and it’s just not the same thing, yo. 


Feel free to leave a comment. 

Sassyland – People Pleasing and Saying No

Hi Guys…I’ve got something to get off my chest…

I come from a long line of over-achievers. Entrepreneurs and self-starters. I have a business mind. I like that about myself. I think full-circle, I know what it takes to make something succeed. I love my job for those very reasons. I’m an apartment manager. It’s basically running your own business on behalf of someone who is taking all the risk and reaping all of the reward, which I’m fantastically happy to do. I love everything about property management. Even when these asstards don’t come in and pay their rent or give me a hard time.

For the last few months, I offered my expertise to one of my Management Company’s “Property Managers” (a “property manager” manages the Managers…so basically someone who is in the same position as my boss.) to help get his Apartment Managers on track with the way our company needs things at the property level to run. My outlook on this task is simple, bring these managers up to speed on how to run the Management System that we use, help them get organized and to help them shine and succeed, so that we can save the account which will help to save 7 properties in our company’s portfolio.

Recently, I was asked if I’d like to “lease” a few single family homes in a development that we manage for an owner. There were 4 vacancies within this community. I would only be responsible for leasing these homes – which means I’d need to market them and show them and sign the lease with the new resident. Herein lies my issue.

I’m a control freak. There…I said it.

The troubles I have with this task are both professional and personal.


  • I don’t have control of when maintenance needs to be done on these homes when the time comes for someone to move out. Vendors need to be contacted, work scheduled and there needs to be a sense of urgency to get things done so that we can get someone else in there. I have the power
  • At the time I was offered this position, it would be on top of what I’m doing already with the other properties that I’m “helping” get up to speed. I’m already taking 2-3 hours per day Tuesday – Friday to do this.
  • The properties are about 40 minutes from my house, 25 minutes from my home property, that I’m still responsible for.
  • When I said “Yes” it was with trepidation, thinking about all of the things I’d have to juggle so that I could be sure that I was still helping at my property as well as helping the other managers with their properties.


  • My nephew did a “terrible/awful” and we may or may not have some very serious things to attend in the coming months and we are sort of on-call for if/when these things occur. (yes, I’m being purposely vague…it’s too much to type and waaaaaay too much to put out there on the interwebs.)
  • My brother-in-law is a hot mess and is in horrible health and is in constant need of help, it seems.
  • My mother and father in-law are very old and sickly and both have health issues. We seem to be the only children in the family that can rush to them at a moments notice to help them or buy them groceries and a myriad of other things.

As you can see, my plate if fairly full as it is, without adding this task to the list – and I haven’t even added anything about my personal family unit.

For my sanity, after a week of answering inquiries, trying to coordinate with the person that is in charge of getting the vendors set to complete these homes so that they can be re-rented, I sent an email saying I felt that it was a good idea if I didn’t accept this job at this time.

If you knew me personally, you’d know that I have probably lost several hours of sleep the last several days obsessing about how I could possibly manage to make this work…and the thing is…I feel that it would take less energy to be in control of the whole thing – from beginning to end – than to just be the person that shows the homes and signs leases with new residents. The worrying about the unknown drives me up the wall. I guess I’d prefer and it’d be less stress for me if I had complete control than only partial and be the person hanging on a thread waiting for someone to finally tell me things are ready and have to constantly ask if things were done.



I hate saying no. I’m learning to say no more frequently and that probably comes from “being of a certain age”. Being of a certain age also helps you realize what kind of people you want in your life and what tasks you are comfortable taking on and which battles you choose to take on and which ones you need not bother with.

Having been a people pleaser for much of my 43 years has brought with it a lot of frustrations. You learn a lot about the things you let bother you and how to surround yourself with people that enrich your life rather than drain you of your will to live. You learn a lot about your own limitations and what it takes for you to be happy and to create balance. You learn a lot about what you absolutely will not compromise on. You measure the risk vs. reward and learn what true pros and cons are. Genuine-ness takes the front seat and Superficial-ness gets dropped at the curb.




The internal dialogue of falling asleep…and math.

It’s 11:00pm and I start the internal dialogue…

“If I close my eyes now, I will get approximately 8 hours of sleep. That’s enough, right?”

a few minutes later…

“I’m never going to fall asleep. Why does this happen? Maybe if I roll over onto my stomach and tuck my arm under my pillow and wrap the free arm around my chest and tuck my hand under my shoulder, I’ll be comfortable enough to doze off.”

“Why is he BREATHING LIKE THAT! Sweet JESUS he needs to get a sleep study done! That can’t be healthy!”

…I kick him a little under the covers…

“Good…he gasped for air…he’s still alive. THANK GOD!”

…peeks at the clock…

“Holy shit, it’s 11:45…that means I have 6 hours and 15 minutes until I have to get up. Tomorrow is going to suck ASS!”


“Did I set the alarm for 7 or 8? Jesus…where is my phone?! It’s so fucking dark in here!” 18 items hit the floor from my nightstand…met with a grumble and snort from my erratically sleeping husband.

Blinded by the light of the display on my phone, I wince and shut my eyes quickly realizing that my glasses were one of the 18 items that fell to the floor in my attempt to feel where my phone was placed on my nightstand. Realizing I’m blind enough to not be able to read the time display on my phone and also the fact that I had not reset my alarm clock on my bedside since the last time we tripped a breaker in our rather old house, I figured I’d squint to bring the numbers into focus…I had set my phone alarm to wake me up at 8am.

It’s midnight.

“I better set my alarm for 7am. That way, I can psyche myself out and hit the snooze a few times before I actually have to get out of bed.”  I adjust my alarm for 7am. I set the phone back on the nightstand.

“So, if I wake up at 7…and don’t *really* have to get up until 8…I can hit the snooze button…how many times? One hour = 60 minutes. 60 divided by 9…SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can hit it 6 times. Whew. Glad we got that figured out.”

“What was that noise? Did I lock the door after I let the dogs back in? Crap…if I didn’t…no, I did. I must have. Shit. FINE. I’ll go check.” Carefully getting out of bed so as to not step on the glasses that fell off of my nightstand.

yyyyeeaaahhh…it was locked. Good thing I got up, though. Now I have to pee.

Climbing back into bed…

“Seriously, I can’t keep living like this. That’s IT! I’m going to brush my teeth at 8:30 tomorrow go to bed early! I mean it this time…I’m SICK of it!”


Calm down crazy, you know your favorite TV shows start at 8pm. There’s no way you’re going to follow through with this plan. You and I both know – wait…”You” and “I” are the same people…this just got really weird. Shut the fuck up and go to sleep you freak!”

The sad part is…most of this happens the same way while I’m sitting on the couch until 11pm…”I swear I’m getting up at the next commercial…”